is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
