Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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