there was a trapeze. enough said
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
