And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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