i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
