Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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