In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
