how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
