I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
