Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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