I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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