I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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