this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
