I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
