Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
