Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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