i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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