conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The adults are the big ones right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
