ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
