I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
