Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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