Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
