well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
