Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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