I faked an abortion last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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