So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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