What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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