3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
