Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
