He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
