Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
