So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
