Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
