Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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