I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
