If i come over, it means nothing
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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