I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
