We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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