he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
