I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
