I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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