Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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