We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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