I think I am morally bankrupt
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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