Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
