bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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