Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
