apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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