LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
