...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
