I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
